Fall Into Connection: 3 Mindful Moments to Incorporate with Your Kiddo This Season
As fall settles in, it’s also a beautiful time to tend to the emotional spaces within us. Our hearts can gather their own kind of debris, unspoken worries, misunderstandings, or lingering feelings that quietly pile up.
Psychologist Alfred Adler believed that all behavior is goal-directed and rooted in our need to belong. From this lens, children often act out not because they’re defiant, but because they’re discouraged or disconnected. That’s where mindfulness becomes a powerful ally. It invites both parents and children to slow down, check in, and create cozy, connecting moments where everyone feels seen, safe, and soothed.
Dr. Jane Nelsen, educator and author of the Positive Discipline series, expanded on Adler’s ideas to help families build respectful, cooperative relationships. She reminds us that kids thrive when they feel a sense of belonging and significance -- something we can nurture through simple, seasonal rituals grounded in presence and connection.
In Adlerian thinking, connection isn’t a luxury, it’s essential. And the best part? You don’t need to be perfect, just present.
Here’s 3 Ways to be Mindful This Season
1. Raking Up Feelings
What it is:
Head outside with your child and rake leaves into a pile or even collect colorful leaves on a nature walk. As you do, introduce the metaphor:
“Sometimes our hearts feel like the yard in fall, covered with old feelings we haven't cleaned up. What feeling-leaf are you letting go of today?”
(Examples: frustration, fear, embarrassment)
Later, ask:
“How does it feel to let that go?”
“What would you like to plant in that space instead?” (Examples: calm, courage,
kindness)
Why it works:
Kids respond well to physical metaphors. Letting go of leaves becomes a symbolic and embodied way of letting go of tough emotions. Fall is the perfect season to explore the idea of release and renewal.
Adlerian Tip:
Rather than praising the size of the leaf pile or how many they found, focus on your child’s emotional participation:
“You really took time to notice how you feel, that shows a lot of courage.”
2. 5 Senses Fall Walk
What it is:
Take a walk through crunchy leaves and crisp air, engaging each of the five senses with emotional prompts:
● “What did you see that made you feel calm?”
● “What did you hear that felt exciting or surprising?”
● “Did anything you smelled remind you of a happy memory?”
● “What did you touch that felt cozy?”
● “What fall taste reminds you of love or comfort?”
Why it works:
Linking the senses to emotions boosts emotional awareness and self-regulation. Kids learn to tune in to how their environment affects their mood.
Adlerian Tip:
This builds your child’s emotional vocabulary, giving them words and ways to describe internal experiences, which fosters agency and belonging.
3. Pumpkin Breaths (aka "Cozy Breaths")
What it is:
Sit together and pretend you're holding a warm cup of cider or a little pumpkin in your hands. Breathe in deeply through your nose (smelling the pumpkin spice), then exhale slowly through your mouth (like blowing on the warm cider to cool it down).
You can say:
“Let’s press our cozy reset buttons.”
“Feel the crisp air and your breath. Can you feel your body calming down?”
Why it works:
This creates a co-regulation moment, your calm helps regulate your child’s nervous system. It’s a grounding and playful way to reconnect, especially after a stressful moment.
Positive Discipline Insight:
Kids learn to regulate themselves not by being told to “calm down,” but by feeling safe and connected to a calm adult. Your peaceful presence is the lesson
Why Fall Works as an Emotional Metaphor
Just like the trees let go of their leaves, fall invites us to release what we no longer need. It’s a time of reflection, slowing down, and finding warmth in togetherness. These small mindful moments, raking, walking, breathing, help kids feel grounded and valued.
Even 10 minutes of your presence teaches a child:
"You matter. You are worth my attention. You belong."
For more parenting strategies and activities, check out these books and games:
● Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen
● What Life Could Mean to You by Alfred Adler
● Positive Discipline Tool Cards (Deck or App)
● Little Renegades: Mindful Kids Cards
References
● Effectiveness of positive discipline parenting program on
parenting style, and child adaptive behavior. Child psychiatry and human development.
All material provided on this website is for informational purposes only. Direct consultation of a qualified provider should be sought for any specific questions or problems. Use of this website in no way constitutes professional service or advice.
